Equal in every way...
So you know when I wrote all about taking your man’s name and it seemed like I had that sorted...not so much.
Since then I have been contemplating the whole thing some more and come up with a final plan. Buster (our unborn child – don’t worry, nickname only!) will have both of our names in a double-barrelled fashion, and, for now at least, me and my partner will keep our own names. I like the idea of us all having that double-barralled family name but won’t be faffing around changing mine until he agrees to change his too. I am not being difficult or having a tantrum, or even trying to make a point ‘for the sake of it’; I just want us to be totally equal, and the name of our child to reflect that. I came to that conclusion because of how strongly I feel about equality in society at large; I just couldn’t choose a surname for our little boy that didn’t reflect my values and beliefs about equality. It just didn’t sit right with me. And my partner is fine with that.
In some ways it was my his determination not to change his own name that inspired me. He just doesn’t feel right about changing his name, so he won’t. Too often I feel that women are pressurised, mostly subconsciously, subtly and unintentionally, into things purely because that is how everyone else does it and they don’t want to stand out or be seen as 'difficult'. Historically, attractive qualities in women are not those of assertiveness or being opinionated; and unfortunately this still affects how we behave today. We are too often persuaded to bend to other people’s convictions instead of having, and sticking to, our own. This is not to say that if you change(d) your name I think any less of you because I do believe firmly in freedom of choice. Although, in saying that I also can’t deny that I wish that a wider variety of choices were made regarding this issue...
Anywho, thought I’d update you as this seems to be my most popular post to date. At least a handful of people were vaguely interested/bored enough to click and possibly read!
As always I welcome your thoughts on this topic and the ideas I have expressed.
Comment below, tweet me @MyFeministLife or email me at email@example.com